Across the Bay

Friday, January 26, 2007

Funniest Story of the Year!

Naturally, it simply has to come from Bashar's internet propaganda tool, Cham Press.

The story reports the "predictions" of Syria's most famous astrologer.

Here they are, in (her) order (of hilarity!):

1- Bashar's re-election will take place without any opposition or problems! (I kid you not!)

2- 2007 will be more secure for Syria, despite some minor acts of violence (you know, like your average "Jund al-Sham" incidents!) but nothing big, it will instead be a year of reconciliation (like, maybe with the Saudis!), compromise deals (naturally, those are always around the corner, esp. with the US!), and negotiations (like, you know, with Israel!).

3- Relations with Lebanon will be better (Yes, no more of that tribunal or March 14 shit!), and there will be reconciliation (aka. "liquidation"!), and what happened last year won't happen again (EVER!).

4- Death of a number of Arab leaders (though not all through car bombs from Bashar!) and the fall of several Arab governments (that's if the bit about reconciliation doesn't happen, or maybe death to Jordan and Saudi anyway!).

5- Also, concomitantly, this year will witness the birth of many "national unity governments" (as in Iraq, the Palestinian territories, and of course Lebanon!), especially after the third month. As for the Lebanese Seniora government, it will not fall before the second month (Great, that's in a few days folks! Hopefully by then I will have stopped laughing uncontrollably!).

Now get this -- only in Baathist Syria -- this hilarious astrologer actually denied having any contacts with regime officials! (Although I could've sworn I've read all this in Tishrin and on some blog!)

Ahh Syria... Where astrology, fantasy and propaganda unite!